Beyond the Physical Realm

 

by Radwa Ahmed

No friends or foes, not even me

We were all but one entity

Halos are visible, tangible is envy

Warmth and chill are equally seen

The once simple figures

And the millions hidden in between

All too overwhelming, I ween

We’re back to where children wean

Or is it “when” I mean?

Space-time has never been so fragile

Birds in the sky never this agile

Thin air has never been so thin

What does it mean when you skin

My face, then, gently stroke my chin?

My eyes are wide open

The veil has been removed

My soul is to million pieces broken

But my body has never moved

I can hear you, all too clear

I can hear us, all our fears

I am here, trying to heal

Here to fathom what’s been concealed

My voices personified

Proving that we’re unified

I seek shelter

From the truth

I try to bring silence

I try to call truce

But it’s too late now

I have to listen

To let it all in

I never knew I was so limited

But now I’m so infinite

God help me take this in

Why is my vessel so thin?

So fearful, I spin

In circles, between

The realms, my friends

Say this is how it’s always been

But to me it’s only how it begins

Are these hallucinations

Or was this reality all along?

If this is mere imagination;

Why does it feel like I belong?

To something bigger,

Some system of a sort

This journey was the trigger

To days of teleport

Time is a construct, anyway

Yet I’m still counting the hours away,

Keeping track of passing days

Places are not real

I listen to my music

I want it to conceal,

Make me forget I’m human,

Drown out how I feel

Existence is now a Rubik

A mystery to reveal

Its weight is on my shoulders

I’m Sisyphus with a boulder

This story is getting older

The weight just made me kneel

I’m not satisfied

I’m only terrified

And I feel like I’m a sin

Now, this is how it’s always been

No women, no men

No now, no then

It’s all a metaphor

The physical realm is an anchor

Reality checks don’t work on me

I only want to set my soul free

Though yesterday I didn’t believe

Soul even existed, I didn’t see

I didn’t allow myself to hear

Now surrounded by my fear

I surrender

I submit

The colors are beautiful, I admit

I cannot look away

This never-ending day,

This abysmal array

Is showing me the way

This reality is here to stay.

Juliette Gautron