Beyond the Physical Realm
by Radwa Ahmed
No friends or foes, not even me
We were all but one entity
Halos are visible, tangible is envy
Warmth and chill are equally seen
The once simple figures
And the millions hidden in between
All too overwhelming, I ween
We’re back to where children wean
Or is it “when” I mean?
Space-time has never been so fragile
Birds in the sky never this agile
Thin air has never been so thin
What does it mean when you skin
My face, then, gently stroke my chin?
My eyes are wide open
The veil has been removed
My soul is to million pieces broken
But my body has never moved
I can hear you, all too clear
I can hear us, all our fears
I am here, trying to heal
Here to fathom what’s been concealed
My voices personified
Proving that we’re unified
I seek shelter
From the truth
I try to bring silence
I try to call truce
But it’s too late now
I have to listen
To let it all in
I never knew I was so limited
But now I’m so infinite
God help me take this in
Why is my vessel so thin?
So fearful, I spin
In circles, between
The realms, my friends
Say this is how it’s always been
But to me it’s only how it begins
Are these hallucinations
Or was this reality all along?
If this is mere imagination;
Why does it feel like I belong?
To something bigger,
Some system of a sort
This journey was the trigger
To days of teleport
Time is a construct, anyway
Yet I’m still counting the hours away,
Keeping track of passing days
Places are not real
I listen to my music
I want it to conceal,
Make me forget I’m human,
Drown out how I feel
Existence is now a Rubik
A mystery to reveal
Its weight is on my shoulders
I’m Sisyphus with a boulder
This story is getting older
The weight just made me kneel
I’m not satisfied
I’m only terrified
And I feel like I’m a sin
Now, this is how it’s always been
No women, no men
No now, no then
It’s all a metaphor
The physical realm is an anchor
Reality checks don’t work on me
I only want to set my soul free
Though yesterday I didn’t believe
Soul even existed, I didn’t see
I didn’t allow myself to hear
Now surrounded by my fear
I surrender
I submit
The colors are beautiful, I admit
I cannot look away
This never-ending day,
This abysmal array
Is showing me the way
This reality is here to stay.